Life Elixir, or: How To Win Your Workout Prep

This here is an article on a huge commercial opportunity. Or, rather, it was. I created a drink that I still make with some frequency, especially on days that I’m dragging and want to exercise anyway. As you might have guessed based on the title, I call it: “Life Elixir.” It won’t make you live forever,* but it provides energy and nutrition in a pretty good-tasting drink.

I drink half about 15-20 minutes before my workout and then I drink the rest during. For those of you in the know, this is called pre- and intra-workout nutrition, or, together, peri-workout nutrition. Here’s an article by TC Luoma over at T-Nation that I read back in 2016 that gave a good rundown of where the science on this stood at the time. It puts to rest the “bro science” idea that you have to consume protein post-workout. Instead, it turns out that it makes more of a difference what you ingest before and during your workout when it comes to performance and recovery.

Anywho, the big reveal! Life Elixir is cold brew coffee mixed with protein powder. TADA! Coffee for energy, protein for, well, protein. Here’s how I make it:

  • 6-8 oz cold brew coffee
  • 8 oz water
  • 1 scoop protein powder 

For protein powder, I like BSN’s Syntha-6 in chocolate, and this is NOT an affiliate link.** I did a LOT of trying out protein powders about 15 years ago and this was by far the tastiest and best-mixing. Hopefully protein powders have continued to improve since that time, but this one is still good! You can substitute whatever kind of protein powder you like. I toss all of this stuff into a Nalgene bottle, shake, and drink.

Quick Soap Box Moment!

Compare this concoction to any other kind of overhyped (or appropriately-hyped) “pre-workout” out there. When I took that stuff, I was very amped to get into the gym and tear it up. But I realized that I would breakout constantly from taking these supplements and also have trouble sleeping. Besides, when I really thought about the potential health and safety effects of what I was taking, I realized I was being a bit foolish in prioritizing short-term energy needs with long-term well-being. No one understands the long-term consequences of taking supplements like this because the FDA doesn’t actually regulate the supplement industry.

Pretty typical “pre-workout” supplement ingredients. Seems silly and sensational (at best) or dangerous (at worst). Probably safer and healthier to not ingest this stuff…

OK, Off My Soap Box…

Cold brew coffee is all over the place now. It’s great stuff. I first had it with my brother back in 2012 at a Brooklyn coffee shop called Gorilla Coffee. He and I were visiting one of my very best friends and were hiding out from the July heat in the coffee shop. If I recall correctly, they were playing Jay-Z’s first album, Reasonable Doubt, in the shop, because… Brooklyn.

Anyways, as luck would have it, this friend we were visiting went on to work years later at a company involved in premium coffee production and distribution, including things like cold brew. When I gave him an informal pitch about my discovery of Life Elixir, it was dismissed. WITH A NAME LIKE LIFE ELIXIR!? Now I see similar products on grocery store shelves everywhere. Womp womp. Even though I would have given my friend’s company a huge head start on this product, it just didn’t happen.*** Oh well, another missed opportunity at achieving billionaire status! At least now I have a blog through which I can share this with the world, so…

To your health!


*Although, luckily I have yet to not live forever… so I guess this hasn’t been disproven.

**I could apparently get somewhere around 8% compensation through referrals for this product, but… meh. I’m just not sure it’s the best thing out there, since my taste-testing occurred so long ago.

***And at least now I can write this and rub it in my stupid friend’s stupid face!

1 Comment

  1. Whachudoin Stree

    That stupidly tall friend and his stupid face!! It’s always better to heed ALL of your decisional advice.

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